Last March, my husband and I decided to leave our lives in Korea that we rather enjoyed and had been blessed to the extreme in, and venture over to England. I stopped my job as a lecturer at Gyeongsang University, he stopped his job where he was well-established at an elementary school and both of us doing quite well…
At the end of each day, we were struggling. Do we go, do we not. Then the question became, “If we don’t get out now we’ll never know.” There have been tears, unknown, frustration etc. More than you could know, but if you knew you probably wouldn’t give it a go because of the daunting thoughts.
I have now been ‘established’ as a yoga teacher, and the husband is rolling into a new career as a mortgage adviser. Just yesterday we had the busiest day we could remember and I was shattered at the end. He said to me, “You used to do this every day….plan lessons and teach, mark papers, consult students, cook and clean, look after a puppy and still have time for yoga class and extra private English lessons.” Knowing it and remembering it are two different thought processes. And he continued, “You do what you get used to. You’re used to calmer times now” (or something along those lines).
Sitting on the couch as I write this, on a cold gray day in Colchester Essex England, I finally feel thawed out. Used to calmer times indeed. Defining it in a black and white sense, I am blessed with a husband to support the decision to slow down, pursue a different route and see what a different lifestyle has to offer. The struggles and discoveries are far from over, but a little light has clicked on to enlighten the way and I trust its durability.
It took almost 9 months for me to ‘get’ the gnawing sensation in my intuition that the path I had chosen and worked so hard to pursue may not be the ‘right’ one. Like getting struck by lightning, you get rewired and if you’re lucky have the resources to travel the way you’ve been lead to find.
I like couch time, I remember the busy times, and I can appreciate the essence of what it all is.
Seeing the forest for the trees? You betcha. I am pretty sure hammering out a blog helps, too. Ending with my favorite yoga quote, and appreciating the long path that has lead me to some peace, “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop.” Don’t stop!