As I sit here in the midmorning quietude with two little black doggies, I am profoundly grateful for the now. Dishes are done, a masseuse is coming to work out the ever present upper body kinks and I have a yoga class with a new teacher to try on for size later tonight.
I’m glad I woke up earlier than normal. When you’re happy you did something it’s easy to make promises like “I’ll do it again tomorrow!” But wisely knowing old habits die hard… I enjoy sleeping in, is better than setting myself up to be sad I didn’t do as I intended.
Enter not “saying” it just doing it. Somewhere in the ambiguous category of intention yet not actually admitting it. That seems to be where the strength of certainty that I can commit to a change resides. How many of us really “like” something but don’t put action in line with thought? Think back to how frustrating it was to complete a puzzle with 2 missing pieces and you can’t even figure out which pieces are gone.
In building a relationship with oneself through the internal part of a yoga practice, the ambiguity on the edge of where ego and unity collide is a precarious place to navigate. There’s a voice saying “you can do it” but what about the voice crying resistance from leaving comfort? Defining “you” or “yourself” is subjective. But relying on the “you” without knowing there’s an intent to change what the “you” is becomes a process of realizing in the quietude how much there is to like about the new situation.